Breast feeding journey

Breast feeding for me has been the most amazing and rewarding thing I have ever done. I adore it, it's a special time I've shared with my son and now as it comes to an end I thought I'd share my story.

I'll start first with my bad experience with Eva. When I found out I was pregnant with Eva I straight away knew how I wanted her to be fed, breast feeding. In my mind that was what I was going to do and that was that. I didn't read up on formula, or even buy any before she was born, I thought it was the most natural thing in the world so it must be easy. Oh how wrong I was! Eva was born 4 weeks prem, 2 hours after her birth I had my first try at nursing her. Over the next hour myself and a midwife (the only one at the hospital who took time to help me) tried and failed to get Eva to latch on. In the end I expressed a little bit and fed her that way. For the next 24 hours I tried and failed to get her to latch on, she was so hungry and I was so tired.. it was emotionally exhausting. I remember wanting to cry, feeling like I had failed at something so easy and not really knowing what to do next. I did manage to get her to latch once, but it was painful (she wasn't on correctly) so I called for a midwife to come help me, she sighed and then said the words that have haunted me since "Look you can't breast feed so I'll just get you a bottle okay?". This women who was meant to help me made me feel awful, like I had failed. She was telling me about which formula she thought was best and then brought me a bottle of that, I don't think I paid much attention, I just sat watching this women feed my daughter a bottle while I sat there in tears feeling completely numb. Even when I went home a few days later I didn't try again, I simply stuck to the bottle because those words "you can't breast feed" kept playing around in my head.
 
When it came to finding out I was pregnant with Archie this time I was completely prepared and didn't set my mind on breast feeding him completely. I knew I wanted to, but I also knew there was a chance he wouldn't take to it. Following his birth the midwife asked me if I wanted to try feeding him. I was nervous but gave it ago he didn't latch on right away, it took a few tries but once he was on, I could have cried (happy tears) I was lay on my sofa with him snuggled right up to me.. the amount of love I felt for him in that moment was just unreal - although it did start the contracting of the womb off which was very painful I have to say - Of course even this journey didn't run smoothly. After 24 hours of nursing him I was left in tears again, I found it so painful and my nipples had cracked and were now bleeding. At 2am poor Boyfriend had to drive 2 miles to go get some formula just so Archie could be fed. I felt awful again, but I wasn't going to give up this time. I rang my midwife the next morning and explained everything, she told me about nipple shields  which I went out and brought right away, they helped so much in the first week and by the second week I was back to feeding him pain free! It was just so nice and I was so proud of myself for not giving up. 

Today marks 8 months and 1 day of breast feeding and it's now time for me to end my little journey with him. Yes this does make me very sad but the time just feels right - not to mention the fact he now has two teeth which have made breast feeding very sore for me. I don't plan to stop right away, no. Just during the day for the first few weeks, and then I'll stop doing it at night time as well. Breast feeding has been amazing and if I ever have any more children I am of course going to try it all again.

A day at the beach.

And another one crossed off this year's to do list "Visit the beach", it was also Archies first ever trip to the beach which I have been excited and nervous about. I remember Eva's first time there, I was so excited about it and after running down to the sand laying down a towel and popping her toes on the sand, she proceed to scream her head off. It was not a successful trip - although she loves the beach now. Archie's reaction was totally different, he loved feeling the sand between his toes, wiggling them deeper and deeper under the sand, something he found highly amusing. He even had a little paddle in the sea again he loved it! 

After a quick paddle in the sea, and getting covered in sandy mud (we were at Westen Super-Mare) Eva got bored and came back to the beach to build lots of sand castles, dig holes and search for shells. We had a fish and chip lunch followed by ice cream before hitting the Pier. I was surprised to find you now have to pay £1 per person to get on to the pier, which concidering how much money they make is a complete rip off in my opinion, but hey ho. 

At the end of the beach is a trapped area of sea and beach known as Marine Lake. We had a little walk along here and watched people crabbing before having a look around some of the rock pools. Over all we had a good day. Both the kids loved it! We are planning a weekend away to Westen next summer.. I can't wait.

5 going on 15.

"Mummy I hate you" followed by a slammed door has become a regular thing in our house at the moment. Eva has reached an age where everything is a big drama and the only reaction to most things asked of her is screaming, shouting and slamming of doors. She has become a right little diva, if she doesn't get her own way all hell breaks loose. A few weeks back she lost a pound coin under her booset seat in the car and started to scream when I explained that no we couldn't pull over and get it (we were on the M5 at the time) so her reply to me was "We were having a really nice time and you've gone and ruined the day".

Normally her one liners have my in fits of giggles but lately they've left me wanting to tear my hair out. She answers back and point blank refuses to do something. It's got to a stage where the naughty step - something I used during the terrible 2/3's stage - has been put back in place and so far it seems to be working, not to provent the outbursts but putting her in "time out" certainly gives her time to cool off and within 5 minutes she's saying sorry and giving us hugs.

During one her outburst's when she called me a "selfish little girl" (we are actually confused to where she got this from) and she was sent to time out to cool off, I was left sitting on the sofa with the realisation that my daughter is growing up and far too quickly! I could have cried. I think I've been in denial pretending that she's still my little baby who loved me singing Twinkle Twinkle little star to her, who snuggled up on my lap at nap time for a snooze and who used to think chickens said "Chicken" and not cluck. I keep getting a glimce of her growing up with the things she says and the way she acts but also I look at her sometimes and I'm amazed by just how much she has grown up, and far too quickly if you ask me. 

Of course she still loves me to come lay in her bed with her at night time for snuggles and still wants me to sing her song after song before she doozes off. She is only 5 after all, something that during her outburst I can forget. During those times I see a glimse of the 15 year old she will become and right now I'm not ready for the teenage years. I'm barley ready for her to turn 6.. Actually I said to Eva I didn't want her to turn 6 and her reply to me was "But mummy, I'll always be your little girl", and it's true, she always will.

Malvern 'Spring' Festival.

Get to know me Tag.

1. What is your name? 

Carly.

2. How old are you? 

25.

3. What is your ethnic origin? 

British.

4. What’s your favourite drink? 

I love my tea and also finding myself drinking alot of water these days too. Breast feeding makes me very thristy so I always have a large glass of it next to me.

5. Favourite song at the moment?

I am loving the classic 80's song "99 Red Balloons"

6. What is your favourite book?

50 Shades of Gray (not for the sex, I like the story line) and the Twlight books are books I could read over and over again and still love them as much as the first time around. But my favourite book at the moment has to be "Our street"

7. Favourite animal?

I'm a big cat fan, Tiger's being my favourite.

8. Favourite perfume?

I'm not a big perfume fan, i'm not keen on fruity / flowery smells at all. Boyfriend once brought me Diesel Fuel for life, which I loved! When I ran out he got me Britney spears Fantasy, but I'm a huge fan of the scent at all.

9. Have you ever been out of the county?

Never.

10. Do you have any siblings?

I have one elder brother.

11. What’s your favourite store?

 Asda living. I tend to buy the children's clothes from here, they also have a fab home range at the moment. For myself when it comes to clothes I find I tend to buy in New Look a lot.

12. Favourite restaurant?

Teddington Hands is hands down, my favourite restaurant. Boyfriend and I are regualar visitor's here.

13. Favourite Youtubers?

I enjoy watching Zoella.

14. Favourite movie?

At the moment it's got to be The Butler.

15. Favourite TV show?

The Big Bang Theory.

16. What phone do you have?

A Rio.

17. How tall are you?

5'11.

18. How many pets do you have?

I have a budgie called Frankie and a rabbit called Kiara (named after the Lioness from Lion King 3)

19. What do you like to do over the weekends?

As I'm maternity leave at the moment, my days are normally spent with the family. We go shopping, swimming or just for a trip to the park. As of the 31st though, they shall be spent working.

20. Is your hair naturally curly or straight?

It's wavey.

21. Do you dye it yourself or go to a salon?

I get my hair dyed at home, though I've never dyed my own hair. I ask my mother to do it for me, she likes to also dye my forehead and ears, along with my hair!

22. Do you wear the same style everyday, or do you change it?

I always wear skinny jeans these days. 

23. How long does it take you to put on makeup?

When I wear it, around 30 mins.

24. What do you do first? Face or eyes?

Foundation first, so face.

25. Do you collect makeup or just buy what you need when you need it?

I have very little makeup as I don't tend to wear it often when I do, I find myself buying new.

26. How often do you wear false eyelashes?

Never.

27. Do you do a full face of makeup everyday?

No.

28. Do you wear makeup when you are home alone or with family?

On a day to day, I don't wear it at all. Normally I'd wear makeup for big events, weddings or parties etc, so with family.

29. How many high-end products do you have?

None.

30. Do you plan your OOTD every night or decide when you are getting dressed?

By the evening I'm shattered I can barley undress let along think about my outfit for the next day. I tend to rush about in the morning grab the first few items out the wardrobe and put them on.

31. How often do you change your handbag?

Yearly. I would love it be weekly but my house is far too small for a handbag collection, Boyfriend can hardly bare my heel collection as it is!

32. What time do you wake up and go to sleep?

I wake up everyday at 6am and aim to go to bed around 9pm

33. How often are you on Blogger?

Daily.

34. Do you read comments posted on blogs?

I don't get very many comments, however I always read them.

35. Do you keep a list of products to try as you see other posts?

I do. I have a pad on my desk and note things down. If they have links to the product I click on them bookmark the page.

36. How did you come up with your blog name?

"I am Bee". It's a very simple answer. My blog is about myself, my life and my opinions and I am Bee so.. Bee is a nickname, given to me by my mother. I very rarley get called Carly in the real world unless I'm in trouble.

37. What kind of camera do you use for your photographs?

Nikon D5000

38. What is your favourite drugstore/high end makeup brand? 

I don't have one.

39. What are you doing with the rest of your day? 

I have to download the photo's off my camera, edit them. I have food shopping arriving later on so I will have to put all that away, then I have to bath both kids, and put them to bed, then it's tea, read a book or watch a crime show then bed.

Weaning Diary.

7 months old.

Two meals a day

+ snacks.

 Breakfast : Baby porriage, I also mixed in a a spoon of his berrie baby cereal for a bit of extra flaour. He loves this (although it looks a little too sticky in this picture, I did add more water before feeding it too him)

 Lunch : Yesterday I made apple and pear puree. It was meant to have beetroot but tesco delievered the hot and spicey ones instead of the one's I ordered so I have to skip them.

 Snack : Strawberry in his Nuby. I love this thing, I normally give it to him which I am getting on with housework as it keeps him busy and I don't have to worry about him choking!

He also has his milk, I am still breast feeding him on demand, but during the day now he'son food, this tends to be only 3 times and normally around 30 mins after his meals. As of today I am adding a third meal also around 5pm.

Charity shop haul

 Shopping trip, Saturday 26th April

 Tesco 'I love pugs' T-shirt - £1.99

This is actually in a 6-7 years but it was just too cute to not buy, plus it will last that little bit longer. Eva isn't actually a fan of Pugs, she likes them yes but that's as far as it goes.

 George at Asda 'Robot dancing' outfit - £1

Tiny Ted ip front hoodie - £1.25

Both of these are in 9-12 months, but at 7 months Archie is already fitting into some 9 month clothing. I haven't got him any jackets that fit him yet so I had to buy this.

 Books all 99p each.

Duck soaps - £1.59

Mini bath bombs - 99p

I am re doing my house at the moment and the bathroom is a kind of vintage / retro feel. These super cute duck soaps aren't to use but instead shall be displayed in the bathroom. The bath bombs however, will be.