A photo a day : A poorly Eva

"Poorly" is the only way I could think to describe what Eva is going through at the moment, we haven't been given a medical term for it, and it's not really an illness. Writing this has made me realise just how little I know about it all, which is awful. I'm her mummy, I should know every detail.

Back before easter, Eva began complaining that her bottom was sore when ever she had a poo. At first I assumed it was down to the fact she'd got a bit constipated and it had been a sore after she went. After a week though, it seemed there was more to it, so I asked her if I could look. She was happy for me to do so. I was shocked to find a small tear which had been causing her all this pain. 

I rang up her GP, who told me she needed lazatives to soften her stools and that was it. He's a GP right? a medical professional, if that's what will help her then I shall do it. Did I question the fact he'd taken my word for it over the phone rather then asking to see her? a little bit. But again he's a doctor, he knows what he's talking about. In the end I rang up the GP 7 times. Each time I was told the same thing, give her stool softeners, increase the amount of fibre in her diet and give her calpol for the pain. That was it..

Now all of that would have been fine if any of it worked, if even one thing the doctor had said had helped even a little bit. But no! Months went by, Eva got worse, panic attacks, refusing to sit on the loo, pooing herself, tears, screaming.. I cried for her every time. Watching your daughter in agony is awful, it's heart breaking and something no mother should see, and of course nothing any child should be going through. She's five years old, and dealing with such a scary medical issue.

Last week I had enough, I rang up the GP's and asked to see a female doctor. Not an over the phone converation, a face to face one, one where the doctor can see the look of fear in my daughter's eyes when the subject is even mentioned, maybe then someone would help and understand. Eva had also taken as much as she could, before the mention of doctors had her in tears and begging me not to. But this time around when I told her, she replied with "Ok mummy", I think this broke my heart even more.

The doctor was kind, she listened, she looked at Eva, felt her tummy and told me there was no longer a tear there, that it had long since healed. She believed the pain is now coming from a "nappy rash" caused by Eva's refusal to wipe / clean her bum because it's too painful to touch. She increased the dose of medication she was on and gave her some cream. We are now keeping a "poo diary" something which to most sounds amusing, to us it's very real. Every time she has a poo we have to write it down, every detail, the time she went.. what it looked like, the colour etc in 3 weeks if she's still in pain we are to be refered to someone who can help. Hearing this afrer 6 months was like a weigh had been lifted, finally someone listened and understood, finally someone was doing something to help us. 

It's been a week since Eva has seen the doctor and also a week since her last "proper" poo. She's pooped herself 3 times a day for the last 2 days, holding it in, stopping herself going. She crys herself to sleep every night asking me "why have I got this mummy" and "Who can make it go away".. while I silently rock her thinking "I wish I could".

Bean xo